May I have your attention please
May I have your attention please
Will the Real Slim Shady
Please stand up
I repeat will the Real Slim Shady
Please stand up
We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like you never seen a white
person before
Jaws all on the floor
Like Pam ,like Tommy just burst in the door
And started woopin her ass worst
than before they first were divorced
Throwin' her over furniture… (ahhh)
It's the return of the awe wait,
no way, you're kidding, he didn't just say what
I think he did, did he?
And Dr. Dre said
Nothing you idiots
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked
in my basement (ha ha)
Feminist women love Eminem
chicka chicka chicka
Slim Shady I'm sick of him, look at him
Walkin' around grabbin' his you know what
Flippin'the you know who
Yeah, but he's so cute though
Yeah I probably got a couple of screws
up in my head loose
But know worse than what's goin' on
in your parents'bedrooms
But sometimes I just wanna get on T V
And just let loose, but I can't
but it's cool for Tom Green
to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it
a little kiss
And that's the message we deliver to
little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's
clitoris is of course
They gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit 4th grade
They got the Discovery
Channel, don't they?
We ain't nothin' but mammels
Well some of cannibals who cut other
people open
Like cantaloupes but if we can hump dead
animals and antelopes then there's no reason
That a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like
I feel I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose,
sing the chorus and it goes

I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the Real Shady
All you other
Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the Real Slim Shady
Please stand up, please stand up,
please stand up

Cause I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the Real Shady
All you other
Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the Real Slim Shady
Please stand up please stand up,
please stand up

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps
to sell his records well I do, so fuck him
and fuck you too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me,
let alone stand me
But Slim, what if you win,
wouldn't it be weird
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here
So you can, sit me here next
to Britney Spears shit, Christina Aguilera
better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly
and Fred Durst and hear 'em argue over
who she gave head to first
Little bitch put me on blast on M T V
Yeah, he's cute but I think he's
married to Kim,
(hee hee)
I should download our audio on M P 3
and show the whole world how you gave
Eminem V D
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups,
all you do is annoy me so I have been sent
here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me,
who cuss like me, who just don't give
a fuck like me who dress like me
Walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing
but not quite me

Cause I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the Real Shady
All you other
Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up, please stand up,
please stand up

Cause I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the Real Shady
All you other
Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up, please stand up,
please stand up

I'm like a head trip to listen to
cause I'm only givin' you
things you joke about
With your friends inside your living room
The only difference is
I got the balls
To say it in front of y'all and
I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it
I just shit it better than 90 %
of you rappers out can then you wonder
How can kids eat up these albums
like valiums It's funny cause at the rate
I'm goin' when I'm 30
I'll be the only person in the nursin'
home flirting pinchin nurses asses
When I'm jackin' off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of Viagra
isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin'
on your onion rings
Or in the parkin lot, circling Screaming
I don't give a fuck
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the Real Shady
Please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta
control and one more time loud as
you can How does it go?

I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the Real Shady
All you other
Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up please stand up,
please stand up

Cause I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the Real Shady
All you other
Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the Real Slim Shady
Please stand up please stand up,
please stand up

Cause I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the Real Shady
All you other
Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the Real Slim Shady
Please stand up please stand up,
please stand up

Cause I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the Real Shady
All you other
Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the Real Slim Shady
Please stand up please stand up,
please stand up
Ha ha I guess there's a Slim Shady
in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up