Now listen get 'em laughing keep 'em there
You hold your own and they'll hold theirs
Hold their glasses they can't hold their beer
Tell 'em the one about the fucking queer

Do the one that always works
'bout the lazy blacks who don't like work
And once you got 'em keep 'em there
Raise their spirits raise their cheer

Don't know what you want from me
But I know I'll never be
The kind of person who easily just laughs

Do the one that never fails
'Bout the gang of white thugs and the Asian male
And once you got 'em they'll be with you
See this lot's loyal through and through

Tell Irish jokes and you can't miss
The building site one and how they're all thick
Keep 'em laughing - you'll have it made
We're a friendly lot and you'll be well paid

Don't know what you want from me
But I know I'll never be
But keep 'em laughing don't let it stop
Or the truth might catch up and spoil the plot