Ooooo deary me,
My little brother's in his bedroom smoking weed.
I tell him he should get up cos it's nearly quarter past three
He can't be bothered cos he's high on THC.
I ask him very nicely if he'd like a cup of tea,
I can't even see you cos the room is so smokey,
Don't understand how one can watch so much TV,
My baby brother Alfie how I wish that you could see.

Oooooo I only say it cos I care,
So please can you stop pulling my hair.
Now, now there's no need to swear,
Please don't despair my dear Mon frere.

Ooooo Alfie get up it's a brand new day,
I just can't sit back and watch your life waste away
You need to get a job because the bills need to get paid.
Get off your lazy arse,
Alfie please use your brain
Surely there's some walls out there that you can go spray,
I'm feeling guilty for leading you astray,
Now how the hell do you ever expect that you'll get laid,
When all you do is stay and play on your computer games?

Oooooo I only say it cos I care,
So please can you stop pulling my hair.
Now, now there's no need to swear,
Please don't despair my dear Mon frere.

Oh little brother please refrain from doing that,
I'm trying to help you out so can you stop being a twat.
It's time that you and I sat down and had a little chat,
Just look me in the eyes take off that stupid thick hat.

Oooooo I only say it cos I care,
So please can you stop pulling my hair.
Now, now there's no need to swear,
Please don't despair my dear Mon frere.

Please don't despair
Please don't despair
Mon frere